What's my career? When you find out..lemme know.
Today I figure I'll muse a little bit about my professional life, and where that's headed. Oh yeah. I don't really know. It's strange, I've grown up interested in many different things from baseball to drawing to video games, music and movies, but none of them seem to click for me as something I can really put effort into making a lifelong, stable career out of. Nothing that would interest me anyway.As I finished my final year of high school at 19, I had, quite frankly, no Idea what I wanted to do with my life. I applied for a business program and the journalism program. I didn't get into journalism, but I did get into the business course. I accepted (God knows why). So, time comes to pay for this program and I realize "Man, this isn't what I want to do with my life at all," so I don't bother paying for it. What I do instead is take a year off to work, make money, but most of all work on figuring out what the hell I want to do.
Over this year off I think long and hard about what I want to do (to no avail). I just can't seem to get any semblance of a possible career that would be entertaining to me. So, being as interested in writing as I was, I re-applied for the Journalism program and also the Advertising program (right now, i cant think of a reason why i did that).
I ended up getting into Journalism. So began my path to my career. Or so I thought.
I knew coming into this course that it would require me to be far more personable than I was and that I would have to work hard on my confidence in myself. That was one of the main goals I had for myself coming out of the program. Be Confident.
It was hard. For a while I didn't really have any stable friends; none I really connected with anyway. Then, slowly I got to know a couple a bit more, and it moved from there. The course was also tough to start because I was terrified to approach people; I just couldn't do it. This apprehension stays with me to this day, but I've managed to supress it and atleast make it manageable.
I know right now I don't want to be a journalist. So why am I in the program, you ask? Well, simply because I feel it HAS improved my confidence and I would love to see it through to the end. Also, prospective other careers such as Page Design for a newspaper or copy editing seem respectable enough.
Truthfully though, I know I lack the passion I should have if i really wanted to do this. I just cannot seem to think of a single venture out there that would make me happy. Not a single one. I keep hoping that one day my chosen career will dawn on me and I can pursue it with great enthusiasm. It hasn't happened, and something tells me it may never. It's just something i have to get used to. All i know is that I don't want to end up working at the factory i currently am at for the rest of my life. No way in hell.
What did writing all this do? Well...nothing really. It just helps to get the fact that I am completely lost, and that my prospects seem bleek if I ever wanna be completely happy at my career. I ask myself though, is that possible? Does such a thing exist?
I hope so.
ciao for now
posted by Sean @ 1:15 AM
Comments: 1
